Girl Rules Episode 5 Analysis: What is Love?

What is Love?

While Girl Rules is a Thai GL series, it is not a stereotypical drama (which is one of the reasons I can’t stop thinking about it). One of the hallmarks of this incredible series is subverting expectations. The characters are complex and completely human. Especially when it comes to love. Take Shasha for example. While Shasha is beloved by fans across the globe, Shasha has never experienced love. Specifically, unconditional love.

The only familial relationship we know of is Shasha’s mother— a relationship that should be unconditional. As a child, Shasha’s mother was more concerned with her 8 year old daughter’s posture and appearance, traits that could secure Shasha auditions and accolades, than facilitating quintessential childhood experiences like making friends. In other words, Shasha was raised by a stereotypical pageant mom.

It’s true that her mother’s persistent coaching helped raise Shasha into the international superstar she is today, but that success came at a cost. That decade of nonstop auditioning robbed Shasha of her childhood. It makes me wonder, was becoming a superstar Shasha’s dream or her mother’s?

Either way, it’s not a far leap to assume that Shasha’s primary motivation to succeed was earning her mother’s affection. Through this experience Shasha learned her mother’s love was transactional. Each audition passed was rewarded with love from her mother. While twisted, Shasha’s mother did prepare her daughter for life in the entertainment industry— where every acquaintance is a potential transaction.

Every event Shasha attends, including leisurely concerts, is another opportunity. Her past relationship with Kris wasn’t a simple coupling. From their relationship came a Taylor Swift style album, immortalizing their relationship for fans to enjoy and Kris to capitalize on. When boiled down to this truth, Sasha and Kris’s relationship feels superficial. But isn’t that life?

Some relationships are performative and superficial in a way that builds alliances and business partnerships (i.e., polite society). The entertainment industry, much like society at large, cannot function without these interpersonal connections. With this understanding of Shasha’s childhood and life in show business, it becomes painfully clear that every close relationship of hers is transactional.

Another example is Shasha’s childhood nanny. Of course, genuine affection can manifest from Shasha’s relationship with her nanny, they are both human beings after all, but at its core this relationship would not exist without a financial transaction. At the end of the day, does Shasha’s nanny take care of her out of love or for a pay check? We’ll never truly know and sadly neither will Shasha.

Shasha’s admission that her only childhood friend was her nanny is not only heartbreaking, it's further evidence that Shasha’s mother was deeply controlling. Their mother-daughter relationship was not friendly. In fact, it reads more like a relationship with a massive power imbalance similar to a boss and employee… or a manager and a model.

The most significant relationship in Shasha’s adulthood is with her manager, Woon. The series heavily hints on more than one occasion that Shasha and Woon’s relationship is more parasitic than mutually beneficial. In other words, it’s toxic, which is on brand for Girl Rules.

For example, the flashback in episode 2 shows a scene where Shasha’s manager booked her a gig with a high profile director, a difficult to deal with narcissist, who keeps Shasha waiting for hours. Shasha asks her manager to intervene on her behalf, but does this happen? No. Instead Woon making nice with the director then excuses herself to “take a phone call”, leaving Shasha all alone. Instead of giving up, Shasha takes a cue from Gorya, the brazen stylist, and stands up for herself by playing the diva card and walking off set (much to her manager’s displeasure).

It’s clear from this interaction and the phone conversation in which Shasha questions Woon about her manager’s fee, that Woon does not have Shasha’s best interests at heart and is taking advantage of her client’s success. Simply put, Woon is invested in what Shasha can give her (the transactions) and not Shasha (the person).

While Shasha is a well connected person on the surface, deep down she is profoundly lonely. Based on her limited life experience, it’s no wonder she seeks human connection the only way she knows how— through transactions. This explains the endless one night stands. With her flings, Shasha can be whatever her interest of the night wants her to be and in return Shasha gets the affection she craves. In these fleeting affairs, Shasha briefly feels wanted and needed.

Lack of substantial relationships is part of the reason Shasha is drawn to Gorya. Gorya is real and honest (except when it comes to her own feelings) and Shasha desperately wants to been seen, known, and cared for by someone that values her and not what she can offer them. The more time Shasha spends getting to know Gorya, the more she outgrows her reliance on transactional relationships. But if Shasha’s affection for Gorya is good intentioned, then why is Gorya hellbent on remaining emotionally detached?

Unlike Shasha, Gorya has unconditional love from her family, but like Shasha, Gorya has never been unconditionally loved, fully and completely, by a romantic partner. In the past, every time Gorya follows her heart and lets someone in they ultimately leave her when someone “better” comes along. Gorya’s ex flat out cheated on her and Prim ditched her the second Bambi appeared. Repeated heartbreak caused Gorya to build impenetrable emotional defenses.

Gorya avoids heart break by fully immersing herself into her career. As a classic workaholic, Gorya’s personal and professional connections are intertwined. In this respect, Gorya and Shasha are similar. Similarly, Gorya works in the entertainment industry where connections are crucial.

While having friends at work is convenient, it can be detrimental when there is conflict. For example, after Gorya and Prim kiss, it alters their personal relationship which inevitably affects their professional relationship. This is particularly evident when it comes to attending work related after parties.

It is no surprise that Gorya developed trust issues. This manifests as hyper individualism and self reliance. No one can break her heart if she doesn’t let anyone close enough to do so. The issue is that Gorya is human just like Shasha. Deep down Gorya wants to be loved unconditionally for who she is. More importantly, she wants that person to love her and choose only her.

Despite this desire Gorya is afraid. She sets boundaries to protect herself, but somehow Shasha is getting through her defenses. This deeply unsettles Gorya because, in her mind, Shasha is the type of woman that leads to inevitable heartbreak. So why is Gorya orbiting Shasha despite her own logic?

Because Shasha’s hyper fixation is intoxicating. Shasha is the type of person that could get anyone in the world, but instead of the world, Shasha focused on Gorya. In moments of uninterrupted intimacy, Gorya is not competing against Shasha’s love interests. She has Shasha’s full attention and Gorya indulges in her desire to be wanted fully and completely by someone else.

Despite feeling affection from Shasha, Gorya can’t believe Shasha, the notorious player, is willing to relinquish her precious autonomy to be with her. Especially when Bambi draws the obvious connection between her and Shasha— players are going to play. But it’s hard for Gorya to completely dismiss this when Shasha’s actions say otherwise.

To maintain emotional distance, Gorya created another transactional relationship in Shasha’s life. One she calls friends with benefits. This worked for a time, but neither Gorya nor Shasha truly want this. Both of them desire real unconditional love where their partner wants them for who they are and expects nothing in return. Shasha seems ready to move their relationship to the next level, but Gorya doesn’t seem ready and that’s valid and very human of her.

Heartbreak heals at unpredictable rates. It’s up to Gorya to communicate when she is ready for emotional intimacy and not something Shasha can force. I believe Shasha will wait for Gorya to be ready, but that won’t stop her from pushing at Gorya’s boundaries in a healthy way (I hope).

Want more? Check out our past episode analyses:

Girl Rules Episode 2

Girl Rules Episode 3